Want Answers To How To Eat and Exercise Intuitively? Little You Has Them.

What were you like as a five year old? when I think back to who Little Jill was, I remember a girl who was shy and very curious. I loved playing on our swing set, going to the library, being in the company of animals, and playing house with a friend or two. I didn't love being in big crowds of kids (I grew up in the days when neighborhood kids roamed free and gathered in each other's yards or at the local parks). I was not adventurous or a risk taker. You wouldn't catch me going down the 2 story slide at the park that wobbled back and forth as you climbed the neverending ladder to the top. I was a "good girl" who could also be very stubborn and not afraid to dig my heels in when I had strong feelings about something. When playing with a friend, I was typically the one taking the lead in deciding what we would do and how we would do it. As I grew older, I was often the one that friends brought their troubles to and the ring leader of whatever we were getting into.

Every child is born with natural strengths. For some like me, it's the knack for taking the lead. Or for being the guardian. This was also one of my strengths. I hung out with the quiet kids and I looked out for them. I gravitated toward animals and loved being the caretaker, making sure everyone was okay all of the time. Other children have a gift for being the peacekeepers--liked by everyone and skilled at diffusing any tension. And then there are the carefree adventurers who take on anything and everything and revel in the sense of newness every day, and the thinkers who solve puzzles and question everything and develop an understanding of how the world works that seems far beyond their years. The kids who have a talent for sticking with something until they've mastered it--we all remember those kids who practiced more and seemed dedicated to their craft--whether it was drawing, throwing a softball, learning to do tumbling tricks, or playing the violin.

I spent 35 years of my life trying to "solve" my struggle with food and exercise. As a Positive Intelligence coach, I understand now that my tendencies for leaning into all of the different diets and food plans and later detailed training plans were a reflection of me trying to use those gifts I was born with to help me solve this problem I thought I had. I couldn't control everything and keep everyone safe all of the time--that became abundantly clear when I had my own teenagers, but I could control food. I could control my fitness. Even if it meant chronic fatigue and anxiety. I took that strength and I applied it in the way some people "fix" everything with duct tape. Whatever the problem was as I saw it (too fat, too out of shape, too flabby, too big)--control was my answer. Here's the thing I finally figured out: Vice grip and hyper-focusing on food and fitness really wasn't all that supportive of health which was the goal I kept telling myself I cared most about. And it certainly didn't magically morph into making food and exercise easy and intuitive the way I assumed it would. Instead, it kept me in a chronic low level state of heightened awareness and hyper-vigilance--not exactly the easy breezy result for which I was aiming.

When you think back, what were your natural gifts? If you're someone who feel stuck between what you see as two lousy choices: go on another diet even though a root canal performed with a butter knife sounds more appealing, or give up and let yourself go which feels like a recipe for a different kind of misery, then this reflection on who you were before diet and fitness culture got their talons into you can provide a map for a new path. Thinking back and remembering your true childhood essence can provide you with some good clues on how to pursue a third option---the one where you live, eat, and move according to your unique values and preferences in a way that not only supports your physical health, but makes you remember and reclaim that girl who didn't have all of the confusion and conflicting messages about who she was, how to care for herself, and how she should show up in the world.

Here's the cool and definitely different than what you're used to thing about coaching--I'm not here to give you the answers. If prescribing meal plans, educating on nutrition, and learning more fitness tips helped you to eat intuitively, you wouldn't even be thinking about how to make your healthy eating and exercise habits stick and the diet and fitness industry wouldn't still be raking in trillions of dollars a year pedaling solutions. I'm willing to bet a whole set of butter knives that you know the basics of nutrition--it's not a lack of information issue. You don't go on as many diets as we've ridden around the block and not pick up a lot info about how food works in the human body. What I am here to do is hold a safe space and ask the kinds of questions that help you access that part of you who used her strengths without overusing them. I'm here to help you turn down the volume on all the inner dialogue that isn't helpful so there's room to amplify your own inner voice who will never steer you wrong, the one who didn't say turn to food every time hard emotions came up or the one who was able to enjoy dessert without unleashing an internal verbal beating over her weakness.

If this all makes sense but you're still thinking, "That all sounds well and great, but I need to lose weight and I'm not going to get there without some rules and a plan"? I hear you and I get it. And I invite you to stick around. We will get into all of that and more in future posts. For now, I invite you to find a picture of Little You and look at her. I mean really look into her eyes and feel the love you have for her. And then close your eyes for a few breaths as you remember and find her still within you (it's okay if she appears a little fuzzy), just waiting to be let out.